Good Gone Girl
by Jujuseed
Summary: Something is terribly wrong with Futaba, and she is trying her hardest to hide it from everybody - especially Kou. Despite Kou's promise to be by someone else's side, he just can't help but worry. AU.
1. when it all falls apart

**chapter 1 – when it all falls apart**

When Yoshioka Futaba experienced her first 'episode', it was only a few days after her 18th birthday and the cicadas had already begun to sing in full harmony to celebrate the arrival of summer. It was only a month away from her last ever summer holiday, and yet she was buried underneath piles and piles of work required for the preparation of her third-year midterms that were beginning the following Monday. In addition to that, she also needed prepare for her upcoming university-entrance examinations that were scheduled before the school year ended. Her guidance counsellor had suggested she pursue a future in chemical engineering or pharmaceuticals due to her passion for chemistry. She was interested in the idea, but decided to hold off choosing a career pathway for later, and see what grades she could pull off when she tried her best.

Futaba was doing her English revision while sitting cross-legged on the plush carpet of her bedroom floor, munching on her favourite Garbo Balls. English never came naturally to her - she was always a lot better at memorising characters instead of remembering which phonic went with which syllable.

She was right in the middle of learning the definition for the word 'ostentatious' - that one was a killer - when she felt her lungs constrict and her heart speed up at an alarming rate. Her head began to throb, as if someone had thrown a fifty-kilogram weight in her direction. She lost control of her movements, and it felt as if someone looped invisible strings around her torso and limbs and pulled hard in every direction. The bag of Garbo Balls sitting innocently on her table were swept onto the floor, it's contents spilling everywhere. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and then, her surroundings were thrust into darkness.

Outside, the cicadas continued to sing.

.

Twenty-seven minutes later, Yoshioka Kyoko was beginning to feel quite irritated. The chicken karage that she had so painstakingly deep fried (and endured burns) for tonight was getting colder by the minute, _and _her husband was being kept late at work for the third time that week. She selfishly wished those international visitors at his company would just leave already so that her husband would be able to come home on time for dinner. She'd called for her daughter to come help her set up the cutlery for dinner twice in the last five minutes, but did not get a response.

"Futaba-chan! Take off your headphones and come help set the table!" her mother called up the stairs. "You better not have ruined your appetite by eating so many snacks, you hear me?"

She placed a damp hand on her hip and waited for Futaba to answer. Honestly, that girl had to stop listening to her music turned on so loudly, unless she wanted to develop hearing problems

Still, Futaba did not respond.

Concerned, her mother climbed the stairs to her bedroom door, and knocked twice. "Futaba-chan?"

Opening the door, she found her daughter lying face-down in that carpet of hers, with her breathing shallow, her heart rate faint and her sleeping shorts wet and tinged with the colour of lemonade. Kyoko's world came crashing down in that instant.

"_Futaba!"_

.

Yoshioka Shuuhei was having a long day. Scratch that, he was having a long _week. _It was hard being one of the only managers in his department to know how to speak English fluently. For the entire week, the poor man had been relied upon to act as the unofficial interpreter slash translator slash tour guide for those obnoxious British executives visiting the company's Japanese branch. He honestly wasn't getting paid enough for this. He was grateful that he passed by the opportunity of having dinner with people he didn't even like when the tantalising smell of his wife's chicken karage flooded his senses. It was his childhood favourite and his stomach growled in response.

He was just stepping into the threshold of his living room after closing the front door behind him when he heard his wife shrieking his daughter's name. Immediately, without even bothering to kick off his leather shoes, he sprinted through his house and up the staircase to his daughter's bedroom - to find his wife kneeling beside the limp body of their daughter, lying askew on the floor. His wife's beautiful eyes were wide and glassy, and her teeth clenched tightly as she stared down at their daughter's pale and gaunt face.

"Honey!" he cried. "What happened?!"

"I-I..." his wife stammered, clearly in shock.

"Snap out of it, Kyoko!" Shuuhei demanded, shaking his wife's shoulders. She jolted out of her shock and her distress was immediately evident as she returned to her attention to her unconscious daughter. "Tell me what happened to Futaba."

"I have no idea!" his wife said exasperatedly as she checked on Futaba's breathing and pulse. "I tried calling her down to start dinner without you but she didn't respond. I was worried so I came up to check on her and found her on the floor like this!"

The crease in the middle of Shuuhei's eyebrows deepened. After a quick check on Futaba, he found that there wasn't much wrong with her physically but she was out cold, not responding to them when they touched her or spoke to her. Kyoko left the room and promptly returned with a cold compress and towel, placing it on Futaba's forehead and cleaning up her mess.

Their daughter was breathing regularly, and her pulse was strong. After Shuuhei laid her on her bed and propped her feet up with some pillows, Kyoko brushed Futaba's bangs off her face and noticed that the colour was returning to her cheeks. Shuuhei breathed a small sigh of relief, and his legs gave way under him as the adrenaline wore off. His wife collapsed against his shoulder, cheeks streaked with panic-induced tears. "Thank goodness you came home," she whispered. "If you weren't here, I would have been too shocked to be able to do anything for her."

He smiled weakly in response and rubbed her arm soothingly. "This has never happened before," he muttered. "What on earth could have caused her to pass out like this?"

Before his wife could answer, she noticed Futaba shift on her bed and her eyes opened ever so slowly. Both parents were by her side in an instant.

.

For two minutes after Futaba roused from unconsciousness, she was unable to remember her own name. She could not recall where she was, nor did she recognise the panic-stricken faces of her doting parents.

If you had asked her about it afterwards, she would have close to no recollection of it - except for the fact that it felt like she was slipping away, and that she had an overwhelming need to hurry to her family and friends to let them know that she'd loved them. That was exactly what she did when she finally recognised her mother and father's faces.

Her father insisted they see the family doctor immediately, but Futaba was adamant that she needed to study for her midterms in two days. "We'll make an appointment after my exams are over, okay?" she said, after she had chugged down pain meds and took a hot shower. "It's important that I get them done well, I'm in my last year of high school after all. Besides, what just happened is probably a one-off thing. Don't worry about it!"

Her parents looked at each other, very concerned. Somehow, they found it difficult to believe their only daughter.

.

**A/N:**

Hi guys, I'm back with a multi-chap super dramatic Korean drama-like AU fic. I'm writing this for purely selfish reasons (like wanting Kou to experience some inner turmoil and a lot of angst) and also because I want to challenge myself as a writer. Now gee, I wonder what's wrong with Futaba?

The title of this fic is from one of my favourite MIKA songs, "Good Gone Girl". Also I apologize for naming Futaba's parents, it had to be done. I do hope we get to learn what their real names are in future chapters of the manga, though!

Also, I haven't abandoned "Wondering", if you were wondering (eheheh ^^"). I have ten more chapters planned/half-written for that, so not to worry. See you guys in the next instalment.


	2. things he'd never say

**chapter 2 - things he'd never say**

_"Yoshioka Futaba from Class 3-2, Yoshioka Futaba from Class 3-2 - please make your way to the staff office immediately. I repeat, Yoshioka Futaba, please make your way to the staff office immediately. Thank you."_

The intercom system was as loud and jarring as always, and without fail would always bring unnecessary attention to the unsuspecting victim. Futaba already knew why she was being called, but feigned ignorance anyway by shrugging her shoulders when her friends cast her questioning looks.

"Maybe it's because I accidentally brought the wrong set of textbooks to Tanaka-sensei this morning," Futaba muttered, seemingly annoyed. Her best friends Yuuri and Shuuko watched as she closed her books and put away her stationary. "If that's the case, I better brace myself for an earful… or worse, an eyeful of that scary bulldog face sewn on the front of his jumper," she mock-shuddered. Yuuri chuckled softly and wished Futaba luck, while Shuuko silently and stoically analysed Futaba's behaviour, not believing her for one second. Murao Shuuko was a wise girl, and when she had a hunch, she was often correct. Futaba knew more than she was letting on, and Shuuko knew that the intercom system was used for much more urgent matters than the delivery of wrong textbooks. Just whom did Futaba think was she fooling?

"Let Minato-sensei know where I am if I'm not back by next period, okay?" she asked Yuuri.

"Of course! Now go before Sensei lectures you!" Yuuri responded, ushering her away.

As Futaba left the classroom, Shuuko leant back against her seat, frowning slightly at Futaba's retreating figure. Midterms had ended two weeks ago, and it was only a day or two after that Futaba began to behave rather oddly.

She would space out, staring at nothing in particular. As if she were trapped in her own little world, and no one was allowed in. Often, Shuuko and Yuuri would have to yell out her name when they wanted to catch her attention. One time, when Yuuri touched her accidentally, Futaba flinched, as if she received an electric shock. She then snapped out of it, apologized and said that she was feeling a little sensitive. Yuuri herself looked completely shocked. The most troubling part, Shuuko felt, was during the times where Futaba grasped at the back of her head, _hard_, like it hurt her. When Shuuko asked her if she was feeling okay, _do you need me to bring you to the infirmary, Futaba?_, she would grimace and say that she was having a bit of a annoying headache, _don't worry about it, Shuuko! I'll be fine in a sec._

Was Futaba an idiot? _Of course_ she was going to worry. She was obviously paler - she looked sick! Yuuri might be oblivious, but Futaba was hiding something - and Shuuko was going to find out what it was if that was the last thing she did.

.

Three rows behind Shuuko, Mabuchi Kou had his eyes glued on the illegible doodle on his notebook, having completely stopped paying attention to whatever the teacher was saying when the intercom system demanded Yoshioka's immediate presence in the staffroom. He tore his eyes away from the page to look at Yoshioka, who was adamantly telling Makita and Murao that whatever it was probably wasn't a big deal, and to inform the teacher where she was if she wasn't back by the next period. Kou watched impassively as Yoshioka received a hall pass from their Modern History teacher, and made her way out of the classroom.

His gaze lingered at the classroom door long after Yoshioka had left. That announcement felt oddly like déjà vu, when Yoshioka and his idiot brother were falsely accused of being involved last year. He still felt guilty about it, because ultimately, he was the one at fault for that ridiculous misunderstanding.

Ever since he'd rejected Yoshioka the year before, they remained acquaintances at best, even though Yoshioka insisted that they remain friends. He hated that there was now a tentative distance between them, an impermeable atmosphere. The wall that had once been broken down by Yoshioka had been rebuilt with extra fortitude and neither of them knew how to break it down again. Not after everything that had happened. Not after all the circumstances that proved it impossible to be with her, no matter how much he wanted to.

Even though _he_ was the one who knowingly destroyed the simple relationship they had, he missed it. He missed their easy conversations, the way she looked at him straightforwardly with her expressive hazel eyes. He missed the comfortable skinship he shared with her. He missed the way she showed that she cared about him, her pushiness, her demand to get under his skin. He missed _her_. Even though he had no right, no right at all.

_Rrrrr… Rrrrr…_

He abruptly resurfaced from his ocean of thought when he felt his phone vibrate in his pants pocket. He sighed. _She should be done with second period by now, huh. _He refrained from looking at his phone during class now, after scoring his first detention when his Maths teacher finally had enough.

It had been almost a year since Narumi Yui re-entered his life like a cloud that occasionally drizzled, but mostly hung overcast – never allowing the sun to shine through. She kept him up most nights, texting him about her day and how she actually tried to make friends this time, only to be ignored by her classmates. "It's fine though. I'm not bothered," she had texted. "As long as I have you, Kou-chan, I'm okay."

_No,_ he thought. _She wasn't okay. Far from it._

It was tiring. It was so, _so _tiring. With her, it felt like he had to be 'on' all the time. Like he had to be strong, because he didn't want to disappoint her, to destroy the image she had of him of 'having gotten over' his mother's death. He couldn't bear to tell her that it was something that one could never really get over. Initially, he thought that with Narumi's disposition, she would be able to bounce back to her old, bubbly self relatively soon. However, it had been almost a year since her father's death, and she still seemed to be consumed by grief.

More often than not, the things he said to reassure her whenever they met… were beautifully crafted lies. Like a drug to temporarily take away the pain, fill her up with far-fetched hope - that perhaps one day, it would get better. The guilt would fade away with time, because it was nobody's fault. It would stop hurting. Everything he said to her, were things _he_ wished were true.

Kou had tried his best to keep whatever he had with Narumi as platonic as possible. He mostly ignored the fact that Narumi was in love with him. He kept it completely out of his mind, and pretended that it was as if they still saw each other as friends like in middle school. However, he knew that she had lied about not having any more feelings for him. He knew that she lied about a lot of things. It was astonishing how a loved one's death could change someone so drastically.

He knew that her dependence on him was completely unhealthy, but he was in no position to say anything. He himself was still plagued with memories of his mother's death. He remembered it vividly like it was yesterday. He was still_stuck_, and he couldn't move forward. He didn't know how to_. _Even after four years.

There were many times where he found himself frantically thinking _why am I even doing this? Why do I have to be with Narumi when she is a living, breathing reminder of my grief… when being with her bringing back so many horrible memories… why must… _and then he remembers with sudden clarity. He hadn't been there for his mother, he focused on everything else but her… that he'd neglected her completely without even knowing. She _suffered_ because of _he wasn't there!_ He vowed to himself that he wouldn't make the same mistake again. Not when there was someone who needed him. There was no way he was going to let her suffer the same way he did. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if she ended up like him. He had no choice, his conscience wouldn't allow it. He needed to try.

Fleetingly, in the middle of the night, he sometimes wonders if everything would have been so much easier on him if he could just fall in love with Narumi… to just respond to her feelings. It would all hurt so much less, and be so much less tiring. It would be one less thing to worry about. But, no matter what he did, he could never see her the way she wanted him too. He could never love her… not when after all this time, he still had feelings for Yoshioka. Kou had given up many things to be by Narumi's side, but the one thing that he refused to sacrifice… was his heart.

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**A/N:** I kid you not, this was actually written the month before Chapter 25, where Futaba gets called to the principle's office using the intercom system. So I was super shocked how coincidental that was! (Also you can probably guess how long I've had this written already without polishing it up to publish -_-) Maybe Sakisaka and I are joined telepathically. Bahahah oh how I wish.

Also, thank you for your reviews! I'm glad that you were fine with the names, I honestly wasn't sure if they were OK.

So what do you think went down in the staffroom? Find out in the next chapter!


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